Haitian Smiles and Prayer

My mind is numb. Not the kind of numb that I usually feel from lack of use, but the feeling that comes from overstimulation and being filled with wonder. Today I saw and did many things for the first time:

I helped 11 patients off of two blackhawk helicopters.

I carried a little girl into the bathroom and put her on the toilet because her leg had been amputated.

Held a flashlight for a doctor as he tried to give a really small boy an I.V.

And I realized through all of it that it´s not about me.

And many more images that are flowing through my mind. I have always avoided doctors, hospitals and anything else medical. Last time I visited someone in the hospital I almost passed out. I've been afraid that once we began to see patients on this trip the doctors would have to take care of me after I fainted from some small smell or from seeing any type of injury. I've been praying that God would give me the strength and ability to do more and handle whatever I'm presented with.

One of our doctors asked me to help him with one of our most critical patients. At first i panicked and then realized he just wanted me to hold a flashlight while he put in an IV. As soon as Dr Mac put the IV needle in the boys arm he began to scream and cry for his mom. The Dr moved the needle back and forth under the skin, I said a short prayer, held the light up for him and watched...without falling over. Small prayer answered.

Later in the day, after all the kids were given sponge baths, I gave a boy a pair of crutches. His leg had been amputated at mid-calf and as he hobbled out of bed his leg dressing fell off, leaving a gapping wound of expossed bone and flesh. I thought I was going to pass out. Instead, I said a small prayer and actually felt fine. I stayed there and watched the nurses wash out the wound and bandage it back up.

Prayer works.

Too often we don't allow ourselves the blessing of seeing how prayer can change who we are. By placing yourself in situations outside of your comfort zone God really carries you through.

I read this last night in James: "Do not merely listen to the word, and so deceive yourselves, do what it says...Religion that God accepts as pure and faultless is this; to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being pollted by the world."

Do things that you think you can't, not things you know you can.

Stand Up...Haiti pt. 2

The unknown

I like to know what the plan is.

In most areas of my life I think I'm pretty free-spirited, however when it comes to traveling I like to know what is on the agenda. I don't even care if plans change or I end up going in a completely different, let's just make some sort of a blueprint first. This morning (Tuesday) I found myself struggling with what to do. I didn't have a solid plan for the day and began to feel pretty frustrated with myself. I'm not a doctor or a nurse so I can't help at the clinic (I told a couple of people to get something for me STAT but they just starred at me). I began to wonder if the only purpose for me on this trip was in bringing the medical people here. Let them do their job and get out of the way, after all I did my part by getting them here, right? But then I began to pray (cause I just learned how to do that yesterday) and I asked God to allow me to be apart of

this day ...silly request but I wanted to do more. So here's what I did...I stood up. That's it. I just got to my feet and started walking. I then asked God to open my eyes and to see what needs to be done.

I got a ride with a couple guys to the local airport and unloaded a jet full of medical equipment.

I then rode to the clinic and one of the doctors instantly asked me if I had a screwdriver. I told them I did and then them work on some anoseiziologostical thingy maggiger.

I then went back into the hallway and a doctor asked me to carry a patient in to get x-rayed (from the machine that just came off the plane). I helped them bring in several other kids who had multiple fractures.

I played balloon soccer with a boy who's entire arm was amputated and yet he never stops smiling.

I loaded up 180 food boxes into a flatbed truck so they can bring food to an orphanage in Haiti that has run out of supplies.

I held a girls hand who's leg and arm are still severely broken.I showed a couple of the kids how to take pictures with my iPhone.

I realized that I did a lot today, none of it was on my agenda, but it was still life-changing. I am honored

to go and stand where God wants me. But I also know now that He wants us to simply stand up and follow Him through our days.

Tomorrow is a new day. We are going to the Haitian border town of Jimani and then possibly into Port-au-Prince. I don't know where we will be sleeping, we will be eating food out of our backpacks, and going blindly into the unknown, and I think God is pleased.

Sometimes I think he just wants us to stand up and do more with our lives.

"Dear children, let us not love with words or tongues but with actions and in truth." 1 John 3:18

Live Love

Lack of Words...Haiti pt. 3

Not even sure how to describe today (Wednesday), because regardless of what words I use they will not paint an accurate enough picture. I've written, deleted, processed and wrestled with my thoughts. We drove to Port-au-Prince today and saw things that I simply don't know how to describe...but I'll try...

- we first visited an orphanage where all 26 kids were sitting outside, out of fear of returning indoors. Two elderly ladies had severe foot infections from untreated cuts. This is gross but I need you to visualize it so you can understand...the top of their feet had giant wounds that were turning white and green. Flys were infesting it and flying all through the cuts. The thing about it is that I guarantee that there are thousands more like them...what do you do?

- we then headed downtown and began to see more and more destruction. Three story buildings were compacted down to a height of four feet. We couldn't see them but knew that bodies were still inside...how are you supposed to feel?

- we saw a man who was completely naked and was just wandering down the side of the road. I can't imagine what it must feel like to have absolutely nothing...another reminder to never complain about my life.

- we turned left after coming down a hill and instantly we were at ground zero. Imagine if you can concrete buildings that must be atleast a hundred years old. They were side by side and had the feel of the French quarter in New Orleans. Everything was destroyed. Black sewage and water ran down the sidestreets and people wandered aimlessly everywhere picking up any peace of scrap they could find. 4,600 prisoners had escaped right after the earthquake and I'm sure many of them had found their way here. Masses of people were in the rubble digging and as soon as someone found something everyone fought for it. At one point we became stuck because a semi was coming toward us, taking up the entire road. Just outside our door fighting and yelling broke out and we all decided at once that it was time to go. This was a place that was filled with darkness, to be honest, it's the closest thing to Hell that I think I will ever see.

- we silently began our drive back to the border and all processed through what we had witnessed. 5 miles from the border we stopped at the "Love A Child" orphanage where they had set up over 100 tents for patients. As we walked through the tents a decent size aftershock hit and all of us took off running...all of the Haitians laughed at us.

Today we saw complete horrific chaos and yet still saw people laughing and filled with hope. I saw joy everywhere I went except for ground zero. I wondered why the people didn't just walk out and start a new life. I was thinking about it and realized that to many of us do the same, we get stuck in darkness and then choose to stay.

Our day started without a plan and yet was filled with more images than I could ever explain. Palmer said a verse came to him as he was lying in bed the night before. He said his Mom used to tell it to him everyday, it went something like this - "I will guide you as you walk throughout your day". That was how our day went, God truley did guide and lead us...this is how our lives should be everyday.

Live Love

Face to Face...Final Haiti Update

I've been reflecting today on this past week and again my mind is completely full. I haven't read the newspaper in over a week, the t.v. hasn't been on (I don't even think there is one here), and I've lost complete touch with my normal day-to-day life. Over the past 5 days I've processed through what it really means to be a christ follower. I sit here on the porch each night and write out my thoughts, with my thumb on my iPhone (In a sense it's how I give myself much needed therapy). For years I've been processing through what true Christ like love really is. I've also always had a burning desire to live the type of life that would make God proud. You read in the gospels how many people stopped following Jesus because it was just to hard. I wonder what He would think about us as Christians today.

Would He say that we're filled with joy, with hope, with love?

Would He be proud of us?

Would He want to even hangout with us?

He called His followers out all the time for not having enough faith, and yet we as a North American society think that if we came face to face with Jesus he would say, "your living exactly how I hoped you would! Your giving just the right amount of money to the poor and hurting and you have the perfect amount of love."

I think our view of faith is in danger of being watered down.

I don't think we can do just enough anymore.

I don't think we should give just 10 percent.

I don't think in any way, shape or form should we be comfortable...Jesus never was.

I also want to be clear...I'm not anti-business, anti-government or even anti-church. I think you should work as hard as you can, just do more with the time and money that GOD has given you. I think you should show Christ like love to whoever is in charge of the government...pretty sure the Romans were worse than any president we've had in the past 200 years. I also think that you need to be at church, to serve, to learn and to grow. You'll never find the perfect church and you'll never find your place if your not jumping in with both feet.

I also feel that it's time for us as Christians to start living the way Jesus would want us to.

To fill all of our words and actions with love.

To commit to doing more with our lives for Him.

I don't think Christ is coming tomorrow...but what if He did? Would He be proud? Would He say that your living just the way I'd hoped you would?

I don't normally rant from my soapbox like this, but I guess this is what I was supposed to learn in Haiti.

Today one of the kids was screaming in the operating room. I asked one of the nurses who it was, and she said, it was the little boy who plays balloon soccer all day and lost his right arm. I couldn't figure out why in the world he was in there and then one of the other nurses said that they were trying to get an IV In his arm so that he could be transported to Santo Domingo. I felt as if the wind was knocked out of me. Apparantly his bone was still sticking out his arm and he needed more extensive medical help. I didn't get to say goodbye to him. I didn't play soccer with him today, and worse, I don't even know his name...for four days he has been in my life and I don't know his name.

I sat down with his mom earlier in the day and was able to hear their story...a story that I would never want to live through and yet her boy is filled with joy. I complain when my Starbucks coffee isn't warm enough, when my waiter doesnt bring me my food quickly enough, or when my DVR doesn't record my show. She said that she has two more children in Port-au-Prince who are having to live off the streets; her husband went back on Tuesday to try and find them and she hasn't heard from him since.

Tomorrow I fly back to the states. I'm probably going to stop by Starbucks, I'll read the paper, watch t.v. and go back to my beautiful family. But I will always pray that God continues to stretch and mold me and that I would be willing to be uncomfortable.

I read in a blog today from a young missionary who is living in Port-au-Prince. He said that right after the quake people were running in the streets screaming "hallelujah, hallelujah, praise God!" He said at first he couldn't figure out what they were doing until suddenly he realized, they thought it was the second coming. He then said that it wouldn't have shocked him at all if it really was finally happening. Imagine that intense feeling. Imagine realizing that you are about to stand face to face with God...what would He say?

I have seen joy and love and even hatred here in Haiti, but what I will take from this trip is that I need to love more and do more, regardless of my life situation...

1 John 3:18

Live Love