Face to Face...Final Haiti Update

I've been reflecting today on this past week and again my mind is completely full. I haven't read the newspaper in over a week, the t.v. hasn't been on (I don't even think there is one here), and I've lost complete touch with my normal day-to-day life. Over the past 5 days I've processed through what it really means to be a christ follower. I sit here on the porch each night and write out my thoughts, with my thumb on my iPhone (In a sense it's how I give myself much needed therapy). For years I've been processing through what true Christ like love really is. I've also always had a burning desire to live the type of life that would make God proud. You read in the gospels how many people stopped following Jesus because it was just to hard. I wonder what He would think about us as Christians today.

Would He say that we're filled with joy, with hope, with love?

Would He be proud of us?

Would He want to even hangout with us?

He called His followers out all the time for not having enough faith, and yet we as a North American society think that if we came face to face with Jesus he would say, "your living exactly how I hoped you would! Your giving just the right amount of money to the poor and hurting and you have the perfect amount of love."

I think our view of faith is in danger of being watered down.

I don't think we can do just enough anymore.

I don't think we should give just 10 percent.

I don't think in any way, shape or form should we be comfortable...Jesus never was.

I also want to be clear...I'm not anti-business, anti-government or even anti-church. I think you should work as hard as you can, just do more with the time and money that GOD has given you. I think you should show Christ like love to whoever is in charge of the government...pretty sure the Romans were worse than any president we've had in the past 200 years. I also think that you need to be at church, to serve, to learn and to grow. You'll never find the perfect church and you'll never find your place if your not jumping in with both feet.

I also feel that it's time for us as Christians to start living the way Jesus would want us to.

To fill all of our words and actions with love.

To commit to doing more with our lives for Him.

I don't think Christ is coming tomorrow...but what if He did? Would He be proud? Would He say that your living just the way I'd hoped you would?

I don't normally rant from my soapbox like this, but I guess this is what I was supposed to learn in Haiti.

Today one of the kids was screaming in the operating room. I asked one of the nurses who it was, and she said, it was the little boy who plays balloon soccer all day and lost his right arm. I couldn't figure out why in the world he was in there and then one of the other nurses said that they were trying to get an IV In his arm so that he could be transported to Santo Domingo. I felt as if the wind was knocked out of me. Apparantly his bone was still sticking out his arm and he needed more extensive medical help. I didn't get to say goodbye to him. I didn't play soccer with him today, and worse, I don't even know his name...for four days he has been in my life and I don't know his name.

I sat down with his mom earlier in the day and was able to hear their story...a story that I would never want to live through and yet her boy is filled with joy. I complain when my Starbucks coffee isn't warm enough, when my waiter doesnt bring me my food quickly enough, or when my DVR doesn't record my show. She said that she has two more children in Port-au-Prince who are having to live off the streets; her husband went back on Tuesday to try and find them and she hasn't heard from him since.

Tomorrow I fly back to the states. I'm probably going to stop by Starbucks, I'll read the paper, watch t.v. and go back to my beautiful family. But I will always pray that God continues to stretch and mold me and that I would be willing to be uncomfortable.

I read in a blog today from a young missionary who is living in Port-au-Prince. He said that right after the quake people were running in the streets screaming "hallelujah, hallelujah, praise God!" He said at first he couldn't figure out what they were doing until suddenly he realized, they thought it was the second coming. He then said that it wouldn't have shocked him at all if it really was finally happening. Imagine that intense feeling. Imagine realizing that you are about to stand face to face with God...what would He say?

I have seen joy and love and even hatred here in Haiti, but what I will take from this trip is that I need to love more and do more, regardless of my life situation...

1 John 3:18

Live Love